Bring A Friend

Q: Why is it that your people insist that I bring a family member with me for the hearing test, fitting and follow ups. I don’t like making this anyone else’s problem, can’t I just come in by myself?

A: Coming for a hearing test and having a consultation for hearing aids is a deeply personal matter, particularly the first time, when people often don’t even realize they have a problem. Remember, loss of hearing happens slowly, over a long period of time. You are often the last one to notice the things you may be missing, and the person you spend most of your time with is much more cognisant of the problems.

That being said, the last thing anyone wants is to have someone there criticizing them through the entire process. It’s hard enough to come face to face with a deficit you didn’t even know you had, let alone have the person you live with see this weakness. Back in July of this year, when I had my “cardiac event”, I faced a few realities that made me rethink a lot of the pre-conceptions I had about myself, and my wife, Bari. Firstly, I didn’t know what was happening, my symptoms were typical of someone having a heart attack; I had no chest pain, I had no numbness in my left arm, nothing that would lead me to think it was my heart. In fact, at first I thought I had food poisoning. Two days after the attack, when I took myself to the hospital, (long story, too long for here, but come in and I will tell you all about it), I hesitated to call my wife and tell her I checked myself into the ER. In fact I waited almost 3 hours before I finally called her office to let her know. Why? I believe there were several reasons for it. Firstly, I didn’t want to scare her; it was bad enough that I was having trouble breathing and got tired easily. Secondly, I didn’t want her to see me as being weak, which I definitely was. I barely made it into the ER, the exhaustion was completely debilitating. And finally, I didn’t want to admit to myself that I had let myself get to this point. I knew I was not in the best shape, but I had no idea this was coming.

She arrived at the hospital within 45 minutes of my call and stayed with me the entire time; I spent close to 9 hours at the first hospital and got taken by ambulance to a second where they conducted an angiogram at 1:00 the following morning. I didn’t end up sleeping until close to 4 in the morning. She never left, she never even thought about it. She stood by my side every second she could and it was exactly what I needed. She asked questions I couldn’t ask, she ensured that everyone there did everything they could for me. She was absolutely my rock.

We rely on those we are spending our time with, in my case Bari, my wife. Not because they are critical, but because they often observe things that we can’t. After 19 years of marriage Bari knows everything about me, more than I do. And I know her mannerisms and habits. When she says I stop breathing in my sleep, for example, (sleep apnea), I know she tells me because she is worried.

Having someone close nearby is a way of having a reality check. Where you may tend to deny any problems, they can point to examples and at the same time reassure you that, like my event, it doesn’t make you any less important to them, that its not a weakness, just something that needs assistance. Afterward they can tell me where you are still having issues, again, you may not be able to get a full picture of the changes; the other person will know and can help you communicate that to me or my staff.

Since that time, I notice that Bari is constantly making sure that I go to my rehabilitation program, don’t over exert myself and take my medication, something I loathe doing and often forget. But she makes sure of it. Apparently she wants me around for a while, and for that I am grateful.